Harmonica Gags


The harmonica is the easiest instrument to play – badly

A gentleman is someone who could play the harmonica, but chooses not to

You can tune a harmonica, but you can’t tuna fish


Q: How many harmonica players does it take to change a light bulb? A: Twenty. One to change the light bulb and nineteen to discuss how Little Walter would have done it.

Q: How do you  make a harmonica player go quiet? A: Put a sheet of music in front of him

Q: What’s the perfect pitch for a harmonica? A: When it lands in a waste basket without touching the sides

Q: How many harmonica players does it take to change a light bulb? A: Five. One to change the light bulb and four to decide which position it’s in.

Q: How many harmonica players does it take to change a light bulb? A: Don’t worry about the changes man, keep blowing

Q: What do you call a groupie who hangs around with musicians? A: A harmonica player

Q: A harmonica player and a guitarist fell off a cliff. Who hit the ground first? A: The guitarist – the harmonica player stopped halfway to find out what key they were in 

Q: What’s the difference between a supreme pizza and a professional harp player? A: The pizza can feed a family of four.

15 thoughts on “Harmonica Gags

  • July 27, 2011 at 2:51 am

    Ques: How can you tell a harmonica player is at your door?
    Ans: The doorbell feeds back.

  • August 25, 2011 at 9:54 pm

    Loving this one Pete. Had to delete the second on however, as it was a tad derogatory (on both counts).

  • September 18, 2011 at 10:03 am

    How many harmonica players does it take to change a lightbulb? Only 1 but it takes him half an hour to find the right one in the box.

  • September 22, 2011 at 8:28 pm

    You probably have heard this one
    How many harmonica players does it take to play a big solo?
    A hundred!!!
    One to play and 99 to say “I could do that”

  • November 12, 2011 at 5:40 pm

    At the annual Mensa bash, guests are required to wear a badge with their IQ number displayed so as to ease introductions.
    Chap with 170 goes over to chat with lass showing off a 171 badge. “Hello, and what do you do?” “Oh I’m a heart surgeon, and you?” “Brain specialist”. Turns out they get on like a house on fire.
    In another corner of the room, lady with 342 is engrossed with a fellow displaying 345. “I’m into particle astrophysics” “Great. My game’s String Theory” Another couple. Perfect match.
    Young lad walks in with a 10 on his collar. Spots another with a 9. Walks over and says, “Doh. So wot position do you play harp in, den?”

  • June 26, 2012 at 2:05 pm

    It was reported on the news this morning that an airplane transporting harmonica players to a harmonica convention in Germany has been hijacked. The hijackers have threatened to release one harmonica player an hour until their demands are met. 🙂

  • September 8, 2014 at 1:20 am

    True story, I have been preaching for 21 years, and playing all types of harmonicas for 19 years. I ordered a Hohner Rocket one week ago which I will pick up tomorrow, that will be number 37 in my collection.
    The observation I have made is, all preachers should play the harmonica, Most I know are full hot
    air anyway.

  • January 5, 2015 at 7:16 pm

    Q. Why did the harmonica player sit on his porch all night?

    A. He can’t find the key, and doesn’t know when to come in.

  • March 3, 2017 at 2:35 am

    I’m a retired locksmith…I can find a key, don’t know if it’s the right one…

  • July 18, 2017 at 8:06 am

    “Harmonica players suck. Except when they blow”

  • June 28, 2018 at 3:24 pm

    How do you know when the stage is level?
    The harmonica player’s drooling out of BOTH sides of his mouth.

  • January 4, 2021 at 5:43 pm

    what do you call a harmonica player who says he knows what note he’s playing…….

    A LIAR!!

  • January 20, 2021 at 3:39 am

    Or an optimist!

  • December 7, 2021 at 11:07 pm

    thanks for the smiles gents , self deprecating humor is better than musical egotism any day of the week

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